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Britons demand right to keep messing up at work and not get sacked

WORKERS should have the same rights as politicians to completely and utterly mess things up in the workplace and not lose their jobs, a new petition has been started today.

Incompetent people feel it is unfair that they keep getting fired while politicians like Theresa May and Michael Gove are hardly affected by monumental catastrophes.

Jobseeker Roy Hobbs said: “Last week I smashed £3,000 of TVs with my forklift and immediately got the sack, but Theresa May knackered a whole election and just got a ticking off.

“She was pretty bad at being prime minister from day one but I haven’t seen her at the so-called Jobcentre Plus being made to do a pointless ‘work skills’ course.”

Former teacher Nikki Hollis said: “I was forced to leave teaching due to being quite crap at it, but Michael Gove didn’t have to leave for being absolutely abysmal as education secretary.

“All I did was make a few children fail their GCSEs, but he was going to stuff up the entire system by making all the good teachers leave and only teaching kids about the sinking of the Bismarck. Now he’s been given a better job after stabbing Boris in the back.

“If there was any justice he’d be working in a factory like me. He’d be totally rubish at it and somehow still get promoted to manager.”

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