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 Near
Death Experience # 76
A friend recently confided she lacked body confidence, and I
was considering this latest morsel of information with
disappointing insensitivity, as I casually flip-flopped along a
sun drenched Playa Del Carmen. Sure, my own frame is in dire
need of some form of maintenance, radical being the operative
adjective, however some of the sights unavoidably filling, and
I mean filling! the Scottish guy’s vision field often make me
feel that I, or that particular lady friend, have little to
worry about!
Let me set the scene.
I am aboard the Princesa Ico, a glass bottom boat, which tacks
an almost daily course between Corralejo and Lanzarote. Now
dear readers, many of you will know the trip stops just outside
the last named harbour for a fish feeding and observing
exercise. Interesting it is too.
So there we all are seated church pew like being mesmerised by
sardine shenanigans and mullet mayhem, when in due course the
crew bade us move, thus letting others in to witness the show.
And then it happened! Quite what possessed me to look in the
opposite way to which I was headed who knows some sort of sixth
sense? Self-preservation perhaps? If this was a bible story, I
would have turned to a pile of…. sand. Quiet in the cheap
seats!! But I shall put it this way; can you imagine anyone
using their arse as a murder weapon???
I suppose it could be considered the perfect crime, but trust
me this was one large female posterior, to go along with the
rest of her personage, as she managed to get jammed in the
stairwell leading to the upper decks. Ye Gods, what if she had
broken wind!! Surf Bum would have been history, a mere damp
patch of erstwhile (sic) existence. Surf Bum R.I.P.
But here I am, hunched over word processor, relating the tale,
and you are so glad, aren’t you? Well aren’t you?
Talk again later………..
Surf Bum
Donald Innes is a writer and photographer,
see more of his pictures on
http://donaldinnesross-aplaceforinnes.blogspot.com
If you are interested in buying any of his pictures just
call him on 662 529580
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