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Women's Revenge!
One
day my housework challenged husband decided to
wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your
shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the
world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack
says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think
the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she
replied.
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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
sensitive man?
A: A rumour
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special
day a good fairy came to them
and said that because they had been so good that each one
of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with
her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets
in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years
younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to
forgive him; And
Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for
Strength, I'll beat him to
death.
AMEN
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the
toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to
wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your
e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
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Thanks to Ann Campbell for these gems
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