Technical Support Calls
This ought to make you feel better about your computer
skills! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!
=================================
Tech support:
What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:
A white one...
===============
Customer:
Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a
note.
Customer: No
,
wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my
desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support:
Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support:
Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me
and.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical
on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
===============
Customer:
Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time
I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the
printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer
still says he can't find it...
==============
=
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................thank you.
===============
Tech support:
What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me
at Woolies.
===============
Customer:
My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the
computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10
paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not
plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that
one does work...
===============
Tech support:
Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
== =============
Customer:
can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right
password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password
was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support:
What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer:
I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support:
How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the
problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the
address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but
that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to
me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support:
"Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program
Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
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