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40 Funny Reasons Why It's
Wonderful To Be A Woman
1. When a ship sinks,
women (and children) get off first.
2. A woman can hug her best friend
without worrying she'll think she's gay.
3. Women can talk to attractive members
of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
4. A woman can never be blamed if it's
wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.
5. If a woman cheats on her spouse
everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally
neglected.
6. Women are capable of doing at least
two different things to a passable standard at the same time.
7. Women live longer than men.
8. Women know how to cover up spots and
other facial blemishes.
9. If a woman inexplicably disappears
for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.
10. Women mature earlier than men (some
men never mature at all).
11. There are times when chocolate is
really the answer to all woman's problems.
12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with
gay waiters or hairdressers.
13. A woman can fully assess a person
just by looking at their shoes.
14. Women know the truth about whether
size matters...
15. A woman can take a drive without
trying to beat her best time.
16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one
has to know.
17. Women are capable of going longer
than five minutes without thinking about either sex or
football.
18. Women never lust after a cartoon
character or the central figure in a computer game.
19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies
are stalkers.
20. Women can cry and get off a speeding
ticket.
21. A woman can get a whole new lease on
life just by changing her lipstick.
22. A woman can congratulate her
team-mate without ever touching her rear.
23. Women don't have to worry about
catching anything important in their zipper.
24. If a woman says something stupid,
most men will just think she's cute.
25. Women can admit to others when
they've made a mistake
26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive;
if a man cries, he's a wimp.
27. Women know who their children are
without having a DNA test.
28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's
sad to be a mummy's boy.
29. Women can wear platforms - which is
why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.
30. Women can watch one TV channel at a
time without getting bored.
31. Women have total control over their
eyebrows.
32. Women can get drunk quicker and
cheaper than men.
33. A woman's friend won't try to
persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk.
34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back
before she asks for directions.
35. Women aren't covered with hair like
shag carpeting.
36. Woman don't feel threatened if their
partner earns more than they do.
37. For women, a new season means a
whole new wardrobe.
38. Women know exactly what buttons to
push to get exactly what they want.
39.
Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their
species stands for.
40. Women can keep pot plants alive for
more than a week.
Thanks to Jeanne Quigley for this!
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