|
Battle of the
Sexes
A
woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on
her bed and squealing with delight.
Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any
idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care
what you think. I just came from having a mammogram and the
doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts
of an 18-year-old."
The husband replies, "What did he say about your 42-year old
arse?"
"Your name never came up," she replied.
---------------------------------------------------
... and the return shot!
A
couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress
Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her
husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband,
protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some
aspirin and go to bed and there
was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after
sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it
was still early, decided go to the party.
As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she
would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted
when she was not with him. So she joined the party and soon
spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the
dance floor,
dancing with every nice 'chick' he could and copping a little
feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe
herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his
time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally,
since he was her husband. After more drinks he finally he
whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off
they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in
the back seat.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went
home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what
kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous
behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what
kind of time he had. 'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never
have a good time when you're not there.'
Then she asked,'Did you dance much?' He replied, 'I'll tell you,
I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete,
Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room
and played poker all evening.'
'You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing
poker all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, 'Actually, I gave my costume to
your Dad, apparently he had the time of his life.'
Thanks to Ann Campbell for these!
|
