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WE ARE UNDER
ATTACK!
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN
COUNTRY!
We Must
Stop This Immediately !
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper?
Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away.
Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to
discover how long our street had
become!
And, you know, people are less considerate
now,
especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time!
If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating
themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until
they're red in the face! What do they think I am?, a lip
reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the
same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much
older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she
has aged so much that she
didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear
while I was
combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my
own reflection. well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made
the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast
these days!
You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the
freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must
wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in
my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized
these days.
Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12
dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they
think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I
would never let myself weigh that much! Just whom do these
people
think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority
to report
what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the
conspiracy too; they've printed the phone books in such small
type that no one could ever find a number in there!
All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer
these awful indignities.
PLEASE TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS
CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size,
because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they
are smaller
than they once were.
Thanks to Brian Smith for thIS!
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